Happy pie for breakfast day to all who celebrate!

If not today, THEN WHEN???

Hellooooo!!!! This week we got a puppy!

Her name is Buffy, she’s ten weeks old, and she’s a precious angelic poop machine terror. Our house is filled with wiggles and snuggles and also loose stools!!!!!!!! I tried to think of the word “delirious” this morning to describe how tired I was, but my poor tired brain was too delirious to find it.

Scout is unimpressed but tolerant, and our cat Irene is also being very patient.

November in Chicago is a terrible time to house train a puppy!!!!!!! EVERYONE GETS A TREAT.

And that is why, on this day, AS IN EVERY DAY, you should eat pie for breakfast. You could eat it with leftover whipped cream or make it weird and dollop some yogurt on top. You could also eat it for lunch-dessert and dinner-dessert. You could make a quiche! You could make a fruit pie! You could be pie-d out today, but might want another slice of pumpkin in another couple of weeks! That’s why I’m sharing my pie crust recipe here.

my favorite pie crust

I realize this recipe may have been more useful if I had sent it in LAST week’s newsletter, but LISTEN, life got away from me and also YOU SHOULD EAT PIE WHENEVER YOU WANT. So here you go! I’ve been making pies and fucking up crusts for many years, and this rough adaptation of a couple different recipes works for me (almost) every time. It’s great for sweet and savory alike. This makes one 9-inch pie crust and doubles pretty easily into 2 9-inch discs or dough that are each about 500 grams.

INGREDIENTS

• 2 cups flour (250 grams! use a kitchen scale!!! more on that in another newsletter!)

• 1 1/2 tso salt

• 1 tsp sugar

• 8 tablespoons butter, cut into little chunks

• less than 1/2 cup Ice water (like literally water with price in it)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Mix your dry ingredients in a bigass bowl.

2. Toss in the butter chunks and coat them all in flour. then start working them into smaller pieces with your fingers. You can flatten them out or leave little globs. Keep sifting through with your fingers to make sure you’ve broken up the bigger pieces. This is a delightful task for an obsessive. Take your time with it! Get in there! Some people say to get it to a cornmeal consistency — I aim closer to small peas, but am just impatient enough to have some big peas too. If the butter starts to feel too soft, like it’s starting to lose its structure and get melty, put the whole bowl into the freezer for a while.

3. Once all the butter is at a good consistency, start adding water, one tablespoon at a time. Don’t work the dough too much here— just keep adding tablespoons and toss it around with your hand to start getting the flour wet and into some loose clumps.

4. When it seems like it’s starting to want to gold together, great! Shape it into a disc, cover it tightly with plastic wrap, and refrigerate it for at least an hour before rolling it out. The dough will keep in the fridge for about three days — if you don’t use it before then, freeze it! You can put it back in the fridge the day before you want to make it and it’ll be grand.

I LOVE AN AGGRESSIVELY MARBLED DOUGH. Some people might panic to see this much butter just floating around in there, but it bakes up just fine!

Y’ALL, I NEED TO SLEEP, so that’s it for this week. I can’t believe the next newsletter is coming out in December!!!! Say it with me: WHAT IS TIME?!?!?!?!

P.S. Do you like this email?! Spread the delight and forward it to a friend! (Or spam an enemy, lol!)